La Push (Present)
The entire concept of the push present is anathema to any Irish person. But, you know, when in Rome…
As an Irish person, the concept of the "push present" is abhorrent to me – or, at the very least, it was. I’ve come around to it, just as I came around to the idea of chocolate lasagna and asking the barista at Starbucks how their day is going and talk-shouting “have a nice day!” at each and every individual I deal with each and every day.
I brought it up with my husband, at first, as a joke – one of those jokes where you’re not really joking but kind of joking but also secretly hoping he’ll see through the joke and get me a push present anyway – and he pretended that he, an actual American, had never heard of the concept.
He posted about it on Facebook later that day. Something like, “Guys!” (all Americans are guys) “Solve an argument: is a push present a real thing?! Rosemary claims it is but I’ve never heard of it!”
Well he’s the bigger eejit because every single comment he got was from someone who sided with me – insofar as every single person had at least heard of the push present, and almost every single person thought that he should buy me one, when the time was to come.
I began to harbour a modicum of hope, to think to myself, perhaps, now that I am in America, and will be pushing out a child in America, I will be receiving an American-style push present!
Like so many things, once it was on my mind, I kept seeing mentions and references to push presents everywhere, and by “everywhere”, I mean, all over the mother and baby forums I had unwittingly joined when I signed up for apps I hoped would tell me which cruciferous vegetable my baby resembled on a given week.
What I discovered shocked me. I had been hoping for something small: a gold-plated “mama” pendant; a pair of silk tiger-print pyjamas; a pair of Ugg moccasin slippers (once owned, chewed to pieces by my then-puppy and clearly never forgotten).
The women on these forums, though, were aiming far higher than I was. “I get a piece of diamond jewellery for all of my push presents,” quoth one, making me wonder (a) how many children she had suffered through in order to pad out her diamond collection and (b) what carat of diamond we were talking about.
“My hubby [kill me now] bought me a Tesla! Our car was 10 years old and we wanted to upgrade for baby’s safety,” said another, kidding only herself (and maybe her “hubby”).
“I’m trying to decide between a Louis Vuitton purse and a Cartier bracelet,” said another bougie baby mama, whose username contained the word “sparkle”.
The thing is, I would not object to any of these – in “push present” form or otherwise. I like diamonds! I drive a car (and so it may as well be a Tesla although honestly I wouldn’t recognise one if I pulled up behind it)! I give a good impression (I think) of being too cool for designer labels but honestly I’d love a Louis Vuitton. (This Louis Vuitton, to be precise.)
What is it about me that I’d never think to demand diamonds, or designer labels, or douchebag cars as gifts from my husband for having a baby?! (Perhaps because I fundamentally baulk at the idea of being “rewarded” for giving birth, as if there’s some kind of exchange going on – you get a baby and I get a Tesla!)
In any case, my baby is a week old and I have received no gift! No Tesla. No diamonds. No fancy French leather goods.
And as it happens, I don’t really feel any kind of way about it. I’d still like a Louis Vuitton – but maybe some day (if enough of you subscribe to my Substack!), I can buy one for myself. Now that would be quite the thing.
*Major bonus points to anyone who understood that the title was inspired by the beach in Twilight: New Moon, the one where Bella pines for her sparkly vampire ex-boyfriend Edward so much that she keeps placing herself in DANGER, because when she is in DANGER she then sees her stalker-slash-dom, telling her to STOP THAT THIS INSTANT*
I’m watching…
Midnight Mass on Netflix, on the recommendation of my friend Cathy, whose podcast with her husband, The Cinemile, is really worth listening to (just FYI). It’s creepy and engrossing and, despite having several jump scares that have genuinely jump-scared me, a fun watch. Plus: MATT SARACEN.
I’m listening to…
Criminal (still). I went to a live show in Vicar St one year, before I’d listened to the pod much, and it was so brilliant it turned me into a devoted fan.
I’m working on…
Not much aside from this here newsletter, because I’m on (semi) maternity leave. (An aside: fellow self-employed people, how much time did you take “off” if and when you had a baby?! Let me know because I’m finding it very hard to justify going cold turkey on the work, at least to myself!)
However! Not Without My Sister is still very much happening, with previously-exclusive-to-Patreon episodes being released every two weeks on all podcast apps, and a new never-before-heard-by-anyone episode on Patreon each and every Friday!
La Push (Present)
I did feel the same prior to having my baby but it’s rather common in Ireland now I worked with men who all bought presents for their wife’s. I did get a “push present” but my other half makes the joke that I didn’t even push 😂. It’s my major abdominal surgery present. It’s an eternity style ring and a thing of beauty. We go through so much to grow and birth our babies a little gift is lovely to receive. But after having a baby a lie in is the best gift you can get, oh wait I breastfeed can’t have that either 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We bought a sofa for the kitchen to make my life easier when Number 1 child was born (2013) - he called it the push present but we both paid for it and both sat on it - still do!