On White Couches and the Great Furmination Attempts of 2021

Some decisions are best left to other people.

I am considering buying a white couch. I have never owned, or worn, a white dress; or a pair of white trousers; or even a white jumper. I am not someone who can eat… well, anything, without spilling it on… well, anything.

I own two almost-white T-shirts. They were once properly white, but now they are white with personality. One of them is white with the…