Review: Hocus Pocus 2 Leaves Roomba for Improvement

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hocus Pocus (1993) is the sort of film we don’t get much of any more: a film intended to stand alone, whose ending doesn’t leave much space for a sequel. And don’t they say, we always want what we can’t have?

Fans have been mocking up fake sequel trailers and posters for years, so when Hocus Pocus 2 was finally announced at Disney’s 2020 investor day, there was a collective intake of breath as we started to count down to its September 2022 release.

This is important: Hocus Pocus 2 was never going to live up to its own hype, a hype that started out well before it had been confirmed as a future release. And let’s get one thing straight: the original may be fun and funny and memorable and incredibly enjoyable, but it wasn’t exactly robbed of an Academy Award.

There are two standouts in Hocus Pocus: Bette Midler and Thora Birch, and only Midler returns in this modern-day reworking, in, let’s face it, a stellar turn. (As if Midler would settle for anything less.)

The problems with Hocus Pocus 2, in my expert opinion, are that it tries too hard to recapture the magic of the first, but leaves behind any of the true edginess that made the original so great.

There are songs, which seem absolutely shoehorned into place for no good reason whatsoever; there’s a drawn-out “bit” that revolves around anti-ageing skincare (“Retinol! What a charming name for a child!”); there are two Roombas which take the place of the upright vacuum cleaner of the first film.

For crying out loud, Hocus Pocus opens with a pilgrim-era flashback in which a child’s life force is quite literally sucked out by the three witches at the centre of the action; the sequel begins with a visit to that trio’s own past, in which the patriarchal forces of Salem conspire to marry Winnie Sanderson, the eldest of the three, off to the local geek.

We’re led to believe, therefore, that the Sanderson sisters only became such due to their disavowal of the town’s plans for them. They’re principled feminists, not angry witches! It’s hard to root for their ultimate demise when their driving force makes them so sympathetic.

My true problem with Hocus Pocus 2 is that it’s not entirely clear whose side we’re supposed to be on – and, as a simpleton who needs things to be straightforward and obvious, I found that confusing.

Still! I enjoyed it! I’d recommend watching it (I’ve ruined nothing; the plot is so thin on the ground that it would be hard to spoil, honestly) and will probably watch it again, with or without my stepchildren, who seem entirely disinterested. I suspect the entire Hocus Pocus franchise is more in my wheelhouse than theirs.

I’m not sorry they made the sequel – if nothing else, we had an exciting few years of anticipation as a result – but please, no more. Let the Sanderson sisters rest in peace.

Hocus Pocus 2 is streaming on Disney+

---

P.S. It’s your last day to take advantage of the Anchor Baby birthday offer and take 20% off an annual subscription!