Tardies, TMIs and Turgid… Er, Bits | How Much Did I Spend Last Week? Jan 29-Feb 4, 2024
As I found myself spending much of my time this week watching Vanderpump Rules and Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Reacher (and, later, diving into my own back catalogue of 90s obsessions), I found myself beginning to wonder… have I lost the ability to consume decent media?
I have, after all, been reading – almost exclusively – smutty romantic fiction, one of the most recent reads referencing a “turgid cock” being, and I quote, “stuffed back into the jeans”, and I’m now wondering if this is rotting my brain, along with, quite honestly, giving me very unrealistic ideas about sex and romance.
Anyway, as with all challenging questions and ideas, let’s not worry about that right now!
Monday
Beatrice has a job interview this morning – a four-hour-long extravaganza, where she’s going to meet a variety of bigwigs and even have lunch with them – and, as I am an angel, a sister to show up all sisters, a truly benevolent god living among you, I offer to drive her, hang around while she impresses people, and bring her home.
The thing is, I know she prefers to be driven – I know what you’re thinking, very Lisa Barlow of her – and job interviews are stressful at the best of times, so if my driving her makes it even slightly more relaxing, and allows her to do some last-minute cramming before it starts, it feels like a small thing to do.
Of course, no good deed goes… smoothly, in this case, and despite confidently telling her “I Google mapped it” when she asks if I know where we’re going, I… take her to the wrong place.
It’s actually incredibly lucky, in a way, because the place I take her to is the company’s other office, and is right around the corner from where she’s meant to be, so they can call and let them know she’s running late. But I still offer to take my sister to an important job interview and then am the reason she’s 10 minutes late, so, nil points for me.
I head to Starbucks down the road while she’s interviewing, and do some work of my own over a venti non-fat latte and a chocolate croissant (make it make sense), topping up my Starbucks account to do so. ($15)
I am, however, on time to pick her up, although that doesn’t go all that smoothly either, because I had entirely forgotten she has a totally different meeting, downtown, at 2.30pm, and I was planning on bombing it home to let Vinny out to do his wee, imagining him crossing his little doggy paws all day long. (Joke’s on me, because he’s actually just been peeing, literally willy-nilly, wherever he wants all week… see next week’s money diary for the exciting visit to the veterinarian that follows.)
I text Mum and Dad and ask if they’d zip over to my house from Bea’s (a 7-minute drive, very handy altogether) to let him out for me, and they say yes.
“We’ll be sending you the bill for the bite Vinny gave us as we got in the door!” Mum texts me.
“He bit you?!” I ask, in a panic.
“No lol,” she replies (always disconcerting when a parent uses “lol”), “He was only short of making us a cup of coffee.”
A very affectionate dog, our Vinny.
We grab lunch in Proximo downtown (Bea pays), where I have the most delicious steak sandwich of my life (10/10 would order again), and then when she goes to her meeting, I go to GK where I get a cruffin and a coffee for myself, and four cinnamon rolls to send home with Bea for my nephews. ($37.26)
I finally get home at around 3.45pm, and go over to pick Atlas up before Brandin and the boys get home. I basically sit in a stupor for the evening. I’ve no clue what we did. Did we even eat?! WHO KNOWS. I was too traumatised by the whole making-Beatrice-late-forgetting-about-the-second-appointment-WHAT-IF-VINNY-PEES-HIMSELF panic.
I do, however, emerge from my haze for long enough to spend $7 on a knitting pattern I see on Ravelry, for a jumper that I, Rosemary from the future, can confidently say I will never be knitting. ($7)
Daily total: $59.26
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