There is nothing –nothing – more energising to me than the concept of a fresh start. Coming up to the New Year, I grow more and more convinced that I am capable of, quite honestly, anything. There is no mountain too high, no goal too lofty, once the conditions are right – that is to say, that I am handed a blank notebook and a working pen.
Towards the end of last year, though, I started to think about how limiting that mindset is. From the glass-half-full perspective, you could say that I am handed a blank slate each and every New Year; at the start of every month; each and every Monday; even, if you drill down all the way, on each new day.
But from the other perspective, it can often feel as though the time is never quite right. Why start on a Monday when you can wait for the start of a new month? Why start in September, when the New Year is just around the corner?
On New Year’s Eve – objectively, the worst day to start anything – I decided that I’d had enough of waiting for the perfect fresh start. I posted about it on Instagram (because if a tree falls in the wood but it doesn’t make the grid… etc).
But, of course, almost everything is easier said than done. (Except Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, which is easier to write down than it is to say.)
No matter how much I try to convince myself that there is no perfect time to start over; that each and every day, hour, minute, second can provide the blank slate I need to truly get going, I’ve found it harder to get out of the habit of waiting for a Monday morning, the first of the month, a new year, even.
I’ve had to find little ways of faking it – sort of imitating the feeling of the month, the very essence of a new beginning. Some days, it feels as though I’ve done a good job. I feel as though I can take a deep breath, open a door and step out into that new day, start a new chapter. Others, I feel more stuck in the mire, bogged down by the detritus of the day-to-day.
But I’m trying – and even when I fail, I’m starting over whenever I feel like it, whether that’s at the start of a new week, in the morning or just after I finish this cup of coffee. And I’ve found that taking these small steps helps in creating those conditions I feel like I’ve spent far too much time waiting for.
make the bed
This is such an obvious one, it feels almost embarrassing to write down. But for me, making the bed is a ritual of sorts. I strip back the duvet and remove the pillows. I painstakingly stretch and tuck (and repeat) the fitted sheet until there is no slack to it whatsoever. I shake out the duvet, lay it back down, arrange the pillows and cushions just so. I make it look as nice as I possibly can.
Honestly, I think it’s because, the closer I can get my house to looking like a show home, the more it feels like I’ve walked into a fresh new (better!) version of my life. But tidying the whole house never feels like a good use of my time, so the bed it is.
start a new notebook
This is a terrible habit to get into. Don’t do this. Use up every page in your existing notebook! I mean, I know I should do the same. But still… there is nothing that screams “fresh start! new project! a chance to truly excel!” more than the first fresh, blank page of a new notebook.
I favour a hard-bound notebook, lined, without any text on the front and, ideally, without one of those annoying “this notebook belongs to” pages at the front.
I do have a Remarkable, and honestly, I should use it more – especially because I can back everything up to the cloud, and never worry about losing my valuable, genius thoughts – but I still favour a physical, paper notebook. I feel as though I can get a better grasp on things when they’re written down, quite aside from which, I mostly use it to write my to-do list, so I’m not all that worried about it going missing.
write a fresh to-do list
I’m definitely guilty of leaving my to-do list undone, but one thing I always do is to write the tasks I need to do on today’s list, even if I can see them, right across the page, on yesterday’s. Maybe it’s a psychological thing; I need to feel as though today’s tasks, today’s day, is entirely distinct from yesterday’s, which is in the past. History. A line drawn under it.
wash your hair
(As distinct from, “Girl, wash your hair”, although this podcast on that Rachel Hollis is very much worth listening to.)
As a curly – and lazy – gal, I don’t wash my hair every day. Right now, I’m at around twice a week, and I’m lucky if I get two days out of “styling” it, so most of my time is spent with my hair in a messy bun.
But on the days I need to start something new, I know I will feel 10 times more capable of doing so with freshly washed (and blow-dried; the effect is ruined if I leave my hair wet!) hair*.
take a break
This might feel slightly oxymoronic if the goal is to get something done, but a lot of the time I find that taking a break – a proper break, where I close the laptop or the notebook or put down whatever project it is I’m trying to work on – can really help get rid of that “Jesus I’ve been at this for a decade” feeling, and allow me to get back to it later with a fresh perspective.
Even when I’m on a deadline and I know I need to get something done asap (or, worse, 30 minutes ago), taking that time to make a cup of coffee, put on a wash or even just walk across the road to check the post kind of allows me to decompress a little bit before getting back to it.
declutter
Sometimes, it’s not actually a fresh start that you’re craving – it’s the ability to let go of something you’ve been holding on to, in order to make space for something new. This could be in a physical sense, as in, the need to declutter your home or wardrobe, but it may also be a matter of divesting yourself of some ideas you’ve been holding on to about yourself, that are getting in the way of the metamorphosis you’ve been craving.
What are the deeply held ideas you have about yourself? Do you think you’re too scatterbrained to get a project finished? Do you feel as though you’re too lazy to keep up a fitness regimen? Are you convinced that you’ll never be able to manage your workload so that you have time to do the things you love, outside of work?
This might be a job for a therapist, but there’s also work you can do yourself. Firstly, question yourself the same way you’d question, well, anyone. Where do these ideas come from? How can you be sure? What if you just… tried anyway?! And don’t forget, affirmations work. Try adding some to your daily routine. Even if they do absolutely nothing, it can’t hurt to give yourself a positive pep talk every now and then.
Please let me know if you have any tried and trusted ways of getting yourself out of the “I’ll start that as soon as X happens” mentality, because I’m sure there are hundreds I haven’t even thought of.
*If you, too, are a curly girl, you may be interested in my current styling routine, which is: leave-in conditioner, followed by curl mousse, followed by curl gel, all applied to soaking wet hair. Then I squeeze out any excess water and blow-dry with my Dyson hairdryer, with the diffuser attachment, on the highest heat, with the lowest strength blow. (I’ve linked the specific products I’m currently using.)