I’m not sure how you kept your temper Rosemary. I would explode. My mother is very commenty on weight too, on TV shows, other people in public and to and about my sister in law. We used to ignore it, but now we tell her to stop it. I just can’t understand your dads motive. Does he think you’ll be thinner if he keeps making digs at you? Why does he want you to be slimmer? I think he’s obsessed with his own weight and assumes you are too. Enjoy your time at home x
Excuses are made as to why people are unnecessarily cruel all the time and I don't think we should accept it. For years I have heard the "ah, it's a different generation" or "don't be sensitive, they are teasing you". It does not take much to understand that what people say matters..even more so when they are in our inner circle. People need to take more accountability for how they make others feel. Relate to this piece , thanks for sharing x
Words hurt. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. I had a teacher from age 4-8 who called me a big fat chicken, with accompanying wing flapping and chicken noises in front of the whole class. I look at my First Communion photo and I see a normal sized child. She was a horror in so many ways I could go into but the point is that I belive now that her taunting left such a mark on me that it definitely contributed to me being overweight - not entirely but definitely a part of it.
When it comes to Dad's, as a teenager I overheard him saying to my mother how the most unattractive thing in girls was wearing glasses (I'd recently got them), being overweight (yes, me too) and "being swotty" (full house) but how my slim, outgoing, fun cousin was just amazing. She died a few years later and I remember thinking he would probably have happily swapped her for me.
Words hurt. And are remembered, like the writing on a stick of rock, engraved into our core.
Tell your Dad to back off if he doesn't get the message. He may mean well but he's doing it wrong.
Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry about this & when it’s one of our parents we kind of accept it, but it’s not acceptable anymore. You know that saying “you might not always remember what someone said, but you’ll always remember how it made you feel”.
As someone else said I do think it’s a generational thing, mind you your parents would be much younger than mine.
Literally none of my siblings (especially the girls) could walk into my mother’s house without some comment on weight, my mother in law was the same.
It’s just not on & I know you love your Dad so probably don’t want to pull him up on it, but I hope you can. You’ve just had a baby & are still breastfeeding! You’re doing great & you are gorgeous! Hugs. 💕💕
Is it a generational thing to feel so entitled to rudeness? I don't know anyone our age or younger who would speak like this to another human. My parents are the same, they're usually loving and kind but have a sense of righteousness that they can say whatever they want about weight. What is this obsession with weight!? Did it come from their parents? Were they at a key age during the 90s to absorb the supermodel size bias maybe? Baffling. Your Dad will no doubt be horrified he's upset you, but it won't stop him or any parents of that generation feeling they have the right, nearly the responsibility, to inflict this hurt.
I should add, you're gorgeous & doing an incredible job with the wee one & the writing 💕
Jeez, could he be any more harsh? I don't understand how he feels he has the right to comment on your body. That was horrible to read. Hope you're ok x
I actually found that hard to read. I'm still 2 stone up from my first child who's 4 & a half, had another since but still very conscious that I used to be fit & slim & not anymore. I've been a lot bigger in the past but still struggling with the mammy weight & I think I'd be very hurt if someone was making comments about my weight. Welcome home & hugs.x
P.S. Penneys is tiny I always buy a size bigger than anywhere else.
Wow. Having had similar experiences with my own family, this post was triggering. Thank you for writing about this honestly. Sending hugs. Those comments sting.
I’m not sure how you kept your temper Rosemary. I would explode. My mother is very commenty on weight too, on TV shows, other people in public and to and about my sister in law. We used to ignore it, but now we tell her to stop it. I just can’t understand your dads motive. Does he think you’ll be thinner if he keeps making digs at you? Why does he want you to be slimmer? I think he’s obsessed with his own weight and assumes you are too. Enjoy your time at home x
Excuses are made as to why people are unnecessarily cruel all the time and I don't think we should accept it. For years I have heard the "ah, it's a different generation" or "don't be sensitive, they are teasing you". It does not take much to understand that what people say matters..even more so when they are in our inner circle. People need to take more accountability for how they make others feel. Relate to this piece , thanks for sharing x
Words hurt. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. I had a teacher from age 4-8 who called me a big fat chicken, with accompanying wing flapping and chicken noises in front of the whole class. I look at my First Communion photo and I see a normal sized child. She was a horror in so many ways I could go into but the point is that I belive now that her taunting left such a mark on me that it definitely contributed to me being overweight - not entirely but definitely a part of it.
When it comes to Dad's, as a teenager I overheard him saying to my mother how the most unattractive thing in girls was wearing glasses (I'd recently got them), being overweight (yes, me too) and "being swotty" (full house) but how my slim, outgoing, fun cousin was just amazing. She died a few years later and I remember thinking he would probably have happily swapped her for me.
Words hurt. And are remembered, like the writing on a stick of rock, engraved into our core.
Tell your Dad to back off if he doesn't get the message. He may mean well but he's doing it wrong.
Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry about this & when it’s one of our parents we kind of accept it, but it’s not acceptable anymore. You know that saying “you might not always remember what someone said, but you’ll always remember how it made you feel”.
As someone else said I do think it’s a generational thing, mind you your parents would be much younger than mine.
Literally none of my siblings (especially the girls) could walk into my mother’s house without some comment on weight, my mother in law was the same.
It’s just not on & I know you love your Dad so probably don’t want to pull him up on it, but I hope you can. You’ve just had a baby & are still breastfeeding! You’re doing great & you are gorgeous! Hugs. 💕💕
Is it a generational thing to feel so entitled to rudeness? I don't know anyone our age or younger who would speak like this to another human. My parents are the same, they're usually loving and kind but have a sense of righteousness that they can say whatever they want about weight. What is this obsession with weight!? Did it come from their parents? Were they at a key age during the 90s to absorb the supermodel size bias maybe? Baffling. Your Dad will no doubt be horrified he's upset you, but it won't stop him or any parents of that generation feeling they have the right, nearly the responsibility, to inflict this hurt.
I should add, you're gorgeous & doing an incredible job with the wee one & the writing 💕
I found this heartbreaking to listen to. <3
Jeez, could he be any more harsh? I don't understand how he feels he has the right to comment on your body. That was horrible to read. Hope you're ok x
I actually found that hard to read. I'm still 2 stone up from my first child who's 4 & a half, had another since but still very conscious that I used to be fit & slim & not anymore. I've been a lot bigger in the past but still struggling with the mammy weight & I think I'd be very hurt if someone was making comments about my weight. Welcome home & hugs.x
P.S. Penneys is tiny I always buy a size bigger than anywhere else.
Wow. Having had similar experiences with my own family, this post was triggering. Thank you for writing about this honestly. Sending hugs. Those comments sting.
I'm glad you 2 made it safe and I must say I do like you Dad!! lol