I Know It's Too Early to Talk About Christmas… But I'm Doing It Anyway

(I'm sorry)

Photo by Juliana Malta on Unsplash

I’ve already created my Christmas present spreadsheet¹, I even have several items purchased, as I’m trying my get the gift-buying over with sooner rather than later. Why, you ask?

Well, at 20 weeks pregnant, I’m suffering from round ligament pain (basically, an ache in my pelvis and hips that gets worse the longer I’m on my feet, culminating in my having to abandon a trip to Marshall’s, one of my favourite shops – it’s basically like TK Maxx in that it’s impossible to find anything decent, and yet I never leave without blowing at least $200?!? – to sit in the car and weep) and something that I think is meralgia paresthetica, essentially an intense burning pain in my left hip and thigh, caused by some trapped or compressed nerve… and I’m not one to complain about these things (lol I AM! I AM ONE TO COMPLAIN! I’VE BEEN COMPLAINING NON-STOP!) but I’m also no fool, and I’m not imagining I’m going to be in the mood to panic shop in another 20 weeks’ time, which is how long I have to wait for any relief from the aforementioned ailments.

So. I’m Christmas shopping.

So far, I have a few friends’ gifts purchased, along with a weighted dinosaur plush for Atlas from Target – which is bigger and heavier than I’d expected, and seems like it should be a lot more than $20. I also have a little box of gifts I keep in reserve “just in case” that I will be digging through and allocating things accordingly, not just because I like the idea of finally emptying it out but because that will be a handful of gifts I don’t have to buy this year.

But what I really want is for you, dear readers, to share with me the best gifts you’ve ever received (or given, I guess, if you’re absolutely sure that the recipient loved it as much as they told you they loved it). What’s something you never knew you needed, but absolutely love? What did you receive, that you never would have bought yourself?

For once, I don’t want you to share with the group but please, message me directly – I WILL BE FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU! But, more importantly, I’m going to compile people’s responses into several seasonal pieces, to publish towards the end of November when most normal people start thinking about Christmas.

I’ve just this second realised two troubling things: firstly, that I’d better wrap these gifts sooner, rather than later, too, lest I plan on relying on Brandin and the boys to do it for us (heaven forbid) and, secondly, if this baby emerges early, we’ll have to have a gift from Santa ready for him, too, so that the others don’t get suspicious.

(On which note: when did your children stop believing in Santa? Because our 12-year-old is still a fervent believer, not just in Jolly St Nick but in Elf on the Shelf, too, and I would bet actual money that he’s not pretending, as I did for about three years after I found out…)

1. This basically involves me writing everyone’s names in the left-hand column, listing what I’d like to buy them and then colouring in the cells when the gifts have been bought. I share it with Brandin in case he might take a mad notion and start randomly buying gifts himself (lol).